Awesomeness Alert!!! JULIET IMMORTAL by Stacey Jay, my dear friend and writing partner, hits bookshelves August 9th!! 

I can’t recommend this story highly enough and not just because it’s dedicated to me (although it is and I will be honest–having a book dedicated to you is pretty awesome). I loved this story WAY before it was a “real” book, before it was even a book deal. Let me tell you why:

Because Romeo and Juliet (yes, the Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare) is lame. There. I said it. Somewhere, right now, a University official has started proceedings to revoke my English degree. But it’s true! Yes, Shakespeare is a master of language and brilliant and who am I to critique him, blah, blah, blah, but that doesn’t make R & J any less lame. Think about it. Juliet killed herself over a guy she knew for less than a week! That’s not romantic. That’s . . . crazy. And Romeo–don’t even get me started on him. He didn’t love Juliet. He was in love with the idea of being in love. (Hello, Rosaline, anyone?)

Enter Stacey and her awesome creative powers. She has crafted an entirely new kind of Juliet, a Juliet who is brave, and strong, and makes me proud to be a girl instead of want to vomit. I urge everyone to check it out–even if you love the original R & J.

Here is the “official” description:

 ”These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume.”
—Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

The most tragic love story in history . . .

Juliet Capulet didn’t take her own life. She was murdered by the person she trusted most, her new husband, Romeo Montague, a sacrifice made to ensure his own immortality. But what Romeo didn’t anticipate was that Juliet would be granted eternity, as well, and would become an agent for the Ambassadors of Light. For 700 years, she’s fought Romeo for the souls of true lovers, struggling to preserve romantic love and the lives of the innocent. Until the day she meets someone she’s forbidden to love, and Romeo, oh Romeo, will do everything in his power to destroy that love.

Reason Number One:I like dress clothes. Unlike (by my scientific calculations) the majority of my authorly peers, I do not like wearing sweat pants. Or sweatshirts. Or flannel pajama bottoms. Or tee shirts. Or jeans, even, unless they are designer and paired with high heels. In the writing world, this is odd. If asked to list the top 5 perks of being an author, almost all writers will put “working in my pajamas”–if not at the very top–somewhere close.

Not me! I liketo get dressed up every day. And (according to my mother’s calculations), I only have 5 more years before I turn into a shriveled old hag who should spend her days hiding in a dark house, interacting only with cats.* So, with my vanity-clock tick-tock, tick-tocking away, I have succumbed to the pressure of joining the “real” world.

* With proper plastic surgery and regular maintenance, this deadline could be extended 10- 15 years.     

Reason Number Two: Hurry up and Wait. Publishing involves a mind boggling, soul-crushing amount of waiting. And rejection. And waiting. And rejection. Did I mention rejection? From the editor who phones you up to discuss your “great” story idea then falls off the face of the earth to the editor who won’t even look at a manuscript that isn’t paranormal, surviving the publishing industry requires an incredible amount of mental fortitude. And while skin can definitely be toughened (I know mine has), it’s a rare person who can withstand the ebbs and flows of the publishing waters alone. That’s why writing organizations like Romance Writers of America  are indispensable to the serious writer. They are wonderful sources not only for information, but emotional support. And for some, that’s all it takes. A few good friends, an understanding critique partner, several pounds of chocolate and the bad cover or careless rejection or whatever is bothering them is dealt with and forgotten. Me? Not so much. Because I have to obsess. Not that I would ever admit to the obsessing, and certainly I’d rather die than confront someone (like the editor who fell off the face of the earth). I’m waaaay to southern for that. I’m a silent obsessor, which is a quick way to wrinkles and nervous tics. Unless I am too busy to obsess. Hence, practicing law.

Reason Number Three: Because what better way to get new material to write about? Duh.

See?? It’s a vicious cycle!

Today, however, is a good day because I not only have TWO worthwhile things to blog about, they happen to be amazingly awesome as well.

First, my critique partner, Stacey Jay’s, awesome new book is out!

Isn’t this the most adorable cover ever??!!  It’s almost as cute as the cover of the first book in the Megan Berry series–

See? It’s like cuteness squared (cuteness ²? I told you I pretty much flunked all subjects involving numbers. Probably because I was too busy reading the romance novels stashed inside my math book). Anyway, think how cute these would look standing side by side on your bookshelf! And they are totally not just all cover. Both books are so, so fun. And I’m not just saying that because Stacey is my critique partner and I get to make fun of her giant clown mouth. Hello? That’s WHY she’s my CP, because she writes totally awesome stories. Duh. Who wants a crappy CP?

Too read more about Undead, go to our blog Zombies in Tiaras!

Second, Rhonda Stapleton has a new book out too, and its cover is equally adorable!

 When Bethany–self-proclaimed geek girl–makes the varsity cheerleading squad, she realizes that there’s one thing worse than blending in with the lockers: getting noticed. She always felt comfortable as part of the nerd herd, but being a member of the most scrutinized group in her school is weighing her down like a ton of textbooks.

Even her Varsity Cheerleading Guide can’t answer the really tough questions, like:

• How do you maintain some semblance of dignity while wearing an insanely short skirt?
• What do you do when the head cheerleader spills her beer on you at your first in-crowd party?
• And how do you know if your crush likes you for your mind or your … pom-poms?

One thing’s for sure: It’s going to take more than brains for this girl genius to cheer her way to the top of the pyramid.

 Doesn’t this book sound awesome?! And because Charity and Darcy are really nice I’m super-important and have connections in high places, I was able to wrangle a fun interview with the authors, Charity and Darcy! 

1. Is there a difference between a geek and a nerd? And if so, can nerds also succeed at cheerleading?

Darcy: Did you intend for me to go all etymological on you? Yes? Oh goody!The term geek may come from the Scottish word geck, meaning fool, and was coined as a term describing sideshow entertainers who performed ridiculous feats (like biting the heads off of live chickens). It is unclear who was the actual fool in the scenario though – the biter or the guy who paid cash money to see this happen.An alternate explanation of the term compares it to the word gauche, which is French for left and has come to mean awkward.Nerd, on the other hand, is a mystery word. No one can agree on where it came from. Some say Dr. Seuss just made it up for his book If I Ran the Zoo. Others say it owes its birth to the Northern Electric Research and Development Laboratories in Canada. N.E.R.D. Labs, get it? Still others say its true origins come from a group of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute students who did a compare and contrast on student activities on their campus in the 1960s. Their research showed two primary preferences: Frat Boy Types, otherwise known as drunk(s), and their opposite, the ones who actually attended class and did their homework, henceforth classified as knurd(s). Haha, see? It’s drunk spelled backward.In conclusion, geeks are generally left-handed people who prefer fresh poultry and nerds soberly research fictional zoo animals (but leave their heads intact). I hope this clears up any confusion.

Now, for part two of your question, can nerds succeed at cheerleading? Yes.

Charity: You know, sometimes Darcy just leaves you speechless. This would be one of those times.
 

2. Maxi dress or mini?
Darcy: Have you seen my thighs? Maxi all the way.

Charity: I’m going with the mini because 1) no one can see your combat boots if you’re wearing a maxi dress, and 2) it’s really hard to do much of anything except float around and look ethereal in a maxi dress.
 

3. Now that you have written a Geek Girls Guide to Cheerleading, don’t you think it’s only fair that you should write a Cheerleaders Guide to Geekiness?

Darcy: I believe Charity’s working on that right now, or something similar.

Charity: I am working on something called Dating on the Dork Side. However, as a book–and social experiment–it’s still a work in progress.
 

4. “High School was the best 4 years of my life. I would go back and do it again in a heartbeat.” Please pick the letter that best describes your feelings about this statement.

a) Agree

b) Disagree

c) are you smoking crack?

Darcy: C. Definitely. I had a lot of fun in high school but I would never (I repeat, NEVER) want to go through it again.

Charity: What Darcy said.
 

5. Zombie vs. Geek girl–who is victorious?
Darcy: Geek girl. For sure. Zombies are a formidable foe and one has to admire their relentless pursuit of brains — but they tend to lack the critical math skills necessary to determine the slope of a staircase. Without this knowledge they are incapable of climbing to higher ground, allowing geek girls to easily outmaneuver the zombie-folk and rain down geek fury upon them.

Charity: Definitely geek girl. She’s bound to have friends well-entrenched in zombie lore and would therefore be able to devise both a tactical and strategic plan for survival. And it’s well known that zombies have zero knowledge of geek lore. According to Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, this is a win for the geek girls. 6. How do Geek girls feel about tiaras?D: Along with Aqua-Net and Duck tape, geek girls consider tiaras essential in the fight against zombies. Plus, they sparkle.C: Tiaras are also sharp; they make good weapons.
 

7. Name your favorite geek celebrity.
Darcy: That cute kid from Juno, Superbad and Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist – Michael Cera. He’s funny and smart, and did I mention cute? He reminds me of all the best things about the boys I knew in high school.

Charity: I second the vote for Michael Cera. If you want old school geeky, I nominate Jeff Goldblum. Also, I feel compelled to report that the Geeky Dreamboats fan page on FaceBook has only 201 fans. This is a travesty. Log on and start clicking that Become a Fan button!
 

8. What’s next for you guys?

Darcy: World domination, or a cookout – whichever comes first.

Charity: All of the above, but while wearing a tiara, because they’re sparkly–and sharp.

(Copied from the RWA website) 

The “Readers for Life” Literacy Autographing has become one of the most popular events at RWA’s annual conference. More than 500 romance authors participate in this two-hour autographing event, and each year we raise thousands of dollars, which are donated to ProLiteracy Worldwide. Since 1991, RWA has donated more than $600,000 to literacy charities.

The 2009 “Readers for Life” Literacy Autographing takes place on Wednesday, July 15, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel, Exhibit Hall. This event is open to the public; there is no admittance charge. Since the proceeds from this event are donated to charity, we ask that you purchase books at the event instead of bringing your own books. (RWA accepts cash, check, or credit/debit cards for book purchases at the event.) If you do bring books, please limit yourself to one or two books and consider making a cash donation to the cause.

Questions may be directed to Erin at efry@rwanational.org or 832-717-5200, Ext. 122.

 Come see me, you guys! I will be passing out candy and cheap costume jewelry. How can you resist?

No, really. Somebody come see me. Please. Because Nora Roberts is going to be there, which is really bad for all us other authors’ morale. Any time you’re at a signing with someone who has written 160 New York Times bestsellers and sells an average of 21 books EVERY MINUTE, you know you’re going to feel bad about yourself. Can you say lines of fans out the doors? Not to mention that I’m usually dying to leave my table and get in Nora’s line with them. Nora is a goddess. So someone please, come and visit my table so I don’t abandon my authorly duties and stalk Nora.

To see all the fabulous authors who will be there in addition to Nora (and me!) please click here.

 If you have some free time, head on over to Zombies in Tiaras–this week Stacey and I are discussing “Baby Style.”  Fun topic, even if you don’t have a baby!! 

babytoupee.com          

Plus, you’ll be entered into sweepstakes for cash and prizes, get access to exclusive panel discusions, and receive members-only newsletters.

Did I mention that they’ll send you free books?

 And Harlequin is totally legit, has been around forever, etc.  There’s no catch.  So go sign up and get free books!

[WARNING: CREATES DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGERY OF POULTRY. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE] 

H:[standing in front of kitchen sink, which is running] Honey!  Do we have a hair dryer?!

Me: I have a hair dryer.  You only have that disgusting wooden brush that was in the box of junk from when you were in high school that your mother tricked me into taking.  And the vented round brush you stole from me five years ago but keep insisting is yours, even though you have no idea what a vented round brush is for, much less where to purchase one.

H: [giving me exasperated look] Will you just bring me the hair dryer, please?  I need it for something.

Me: Fine. 

[Go into bathroom and retrieve hair dryer while trying very hard not to think about what H could possibly "need" it for.  Return to kitchen and offer hair dryer to H.]

H: No, I don’t want it.  I have to go back outside.  I need you to help me.

Me: Help you do what?

H: [pulls hands out from under running water and shoves something at me] I need you to blow dry this chicken.

Me: What? [Glance down at hands.  Realize they suddenly contain sickly-looking yellow chick. Horrified comprehension dawns.]  Oh, no.  No, way. [trying to shove sickly yellow chick back at him] I’m NOT blow drying a chicken.

H: You have to.  If you don’t, he’ll die.

Me: Since when do baby chicks require styling with heat appliances for survival?  If Charles Darwin were alive and standing here, he’d be freaking out right now.

H: He was stuck to the bottom of the incubator, so I had to give him a bath.  But now his body temperature is too low.

Me: What is this weird slimy stuff on his stomach?

H: [making dismissive gesture with hand] Oh, you know . . .  his organs and stuff.

Me: His “organs and stuff”?!  What?!  Are you saying his organs are on the outside of his body?!

H: Yes.  Look, are you going to dry him or not?

Me: If his organs are outside his body, doesn’t that mean he’s, uh, you know . . . [voice turns to whisper so sickly chick can't hear] going to die?

H: Yeah, he’ll be lucky to last the hour.

Me: Riiiiiiight. [long pause while I consider the benefits of divorce]  So explain to me then what, exactly, would be the purpose of blow drying him?  Isn’t that, like, extreme measures or something?  Wouldn’t it be more humane to let him enjoy his last few minutes in peace?

H: Probably so, but I accidentally put some of the other chicks too close to the heat lamp earlier, so I just really can’t have any more poultry lives on my conscience right now.

Me: [flicking on hair dryer] I’m so calling PETA when I get done with this.