Christmas is over and the new year is almost upon us.  My house looks like a bomb exploded inside it and my daughter just announced in a trembly voice that ”the laundry looks like it’s trying to eat me.”  Sigh.  Housework is not my best subject. But, in my defense, I hosted my sister’s wedding reception over the weekend. (Ha!  You’re trapped now Jason!) 

I know I’m supposed to be doing a pageant blog, but–well, I don’t feel like it.  So I’m going to procrastinate and put it off until later.  But that leaves me with nothing to write about.  I suppose I could do New Year’s Resolutions, but, um, those are sort of boring.  I mean, everybodys’ resolutions are always so mundane.  “I’m going to stop smoking,” ”I’m going to lose 20 pounds,” “I’m going to join the gym.”  Just once I wish somebody would say something like, “This year I’m going to quit my job and start a meth lab in my kitchen.”

Okay, so I don’t want somebody to say that, exactly, but you get the idea.  Because to quote Mark Twain–”now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”

Veering totally off the subject, have you seen my boyfriend’s Robert Pattinson’s new hair?

I normally prefer for guys to have short, short, SHORT hair, but now he looks even more like my brother than he did before. (Note to any single girls out there between the ages of 18-25: my brother looks EXACTLY like RP.) Which is seriously screwing up my fantasy life.  How can he be my imaginary boyfriend if he insists on looking like my brother?  It’s so insensitive of him.  Really, it’s like he thinks that just because he doesn’t know I exist he doesn’t have to consider my feelings at all.

In other guy news, I’m adding a new feature to my site–A real, live guy!!  No, really.  I have totally tricked asked an actual living, breathing, high school guy to start blogging on here.  We’re going to call him *Joe.*  

Actually, that’s really his name.  Joe.  I didn’t make that up to protect his identity or anything.  

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to have a) a guy’s perspective; and b) a teenager’s perspective.  So, you know, it’s like killing two birds with one stone.  Plus, I’m not the most reliable blogger, so hopefully Joe will take up some of my slack.  Thus, without further ado, heeeeeeeeere’s JOE!!  (assuming I can figure out how to post his blog)
    

Today is the official release day for my second book, Crowned!!  It’s a fun story set in the drama-filled world of beauty pageants.  Excuse me, I mean “scholarship” pageants.  And one of my sisters (until very recently) did a lot of pageants in the Miss America system, so it’s based on a lot of first-hand info.  In fact, I had sooooo much good stuff that this actually ended up being a hard story to write.  And by “good,” of course, I mean totally scandalous and/or shocking.

Speaking of scandals and beauty queens, the pageant world has had quite a tumultuous time over the past few years.   Seriously–when E! makes a show called Beauty Queens Gone Wrong: 15 Shocking Pageant Scandals, you know something is up.  So, over the next couple of weeks I thought it would be interesting to talk about some of these scandals, as well as the good, positive aspects of pageants.  Because for all the bad stuff you hear about, there is just as much good.  At least, I assume there is!  If there are any pageant girls out there, I’d love to hear your opinions.  In the meantime, check out the Crowned cover and info below!

 

Smile. Wave. Dominate. Presley loves the pageant world. She knows how to work the crowd and looks gorgeous in an evening gown. But really, she needs the pageant world — for its scholarships and opportunities. The only thing standing in her way? Her archrival, Megan, who was practically born wearing a crown and sash. Megan may be the nastiest girl on the circuit, but she has one thing that Presley doesn’t: connections. And she won’t hesitate to use them.What happens when two girls will stop at nothing — including scandalous Internet pictures, vicious message board rumors, or “accidentally” ruined hair — to be crowned the winner? Strap on your stilettos and tuck in those shoulder pads…it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

UPDATE: I just read on CNN that Gale was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident on Tuesday night.  They’re reporting that he has a fractured shoulder and swelling of his brain, but that he is (thankfully) expected to recover.  My thoughts and prayers go out to Gale and his family, and I wish him a speedy recovery.

And now I must obsess that my posting about Gale somehow caused him to–oh, I don’t know–ALMOST DIE.  In psychiatry, this line of reasoning is called “magical thinking.”  But a psychiatrist also tried to tell me that the unicorns frolicking in my backyard were deer, so what do psychiatrists know? (Because they were SO unicorns.)   

To make up for posting about Sarah Palin, I’m putting up some pictures of my main imaginary boyfriend, Gale Harold.

                                                                                            

                                                                     

Gale is the newest cast member of Desperate Housewives, which–if you’re not already a DH fan–means you should start watching it immediately.  And if you’re over the age of 18, I highly recommend ordering Queer as Folk , the Showtime series that first put Gale on the map.  His indie films Particles of Truth and The Unseen are also very well done, if you’re in more of a movie-mood.

Again, my apologies for posting about the female George Bush Sarah Palin.  It won’t happen again.  Unless she does/says something incredibly stupid before the election.  Which is extremely likely.  Actually, make that 100% certain.  So you probably will see her on here again.  Oh, boy.  I can’t wait.